Mary Poppins has quit. As she was leaving I heard “Iamquittingrightnowcausethosechildrenareatrocious”. The sheepdog is, to put it kindly, more sheep than dog. And the agency, in their infinite wisdom, has sent over Nanny Ninny.

Nanny Ninny was not prepared for this family. She was not prepared for ANY of this. Nobody warned her about the subway. A secret subway - under Milton!!!

This is no ordinary subway ride, ladies and gentlemen. This one goes all the way to NEVERLAND. Does she want to go to Neverland? SHE DOES NOT. Is she going anyway? OH YES SHE IS.

And Neverland, it turns out, has problems. Big ones. A hockey King has taken over the whole place and everyone is getting overly Canadian about it. CAptain Hook has not noticed, he frankly has enough on his plate right now because he accidentally downloaded TikTok thinking it was an app for tracking crocodiles. He has three million followers. He has no idea why. And yes we will show you his TikTok attempts.

Meanwhile the fairies have unionised and signed a distribution deal with Amazon, which sounds great until you realise that Hook has been porch pirating every single delivery that comes through. Will ANYONE get what they asked for for Christmas? THEY WILL NOT! Not while Hook is lurking around with his enormous coat and suspicious number of pockets!

Will Peter Pan get it together in time to save Neverland, see off the Hockey King, and get those presents back where they belong?

Tink believes in him. And you know what they say. Every time you believe in a fairy...

Actually Tink works for Amazon now. She needs a five star review and a tip. CLAP IF YOU BELIEVE IN FREE NEXT DAY DELIVERY!